Series Eight: Biblical Counseling and Personal Discipleship

This study provides practical principles to live by in order to become an effective disciple-maker and counselor. Discipleship and counseling is a skill that can and must improve as each believer grows in sanctification. No one is intrinsically a gifted disciple-maker; rather everyone must labor, strive, and apply concerted effort to grow in this much-needed skill. Fundamental to this process is that the disciple-maker is himself subjecting his own life and heart to the Scriptures so he has experiential wisdom in the application of the Scriptures from his own life. What follows are practical principles to help you may grow as a disciple-maker.

The principles found within this section on counseling and discipleship are a compilation of materials—some developed by Grace Immanuel Bible Church, Jupiter, FL, as well as many adaptations from the counseling materials of Grace Community Church, Sun Valley, CA, under the leadership of Dr. John MacArthur. We are deeply indebted to Dr. MacArthur and the pastoral team at Grace Community for their labors and biblical clarity through the years on this vital subject.

1. Diligently apply yourself to making disciples.
   1. Stay in prayer for whomever you are helping.
   2. Keep involved with a person to whatever degree you are able, even if their problem is too difficult for you. You can learn from someone else by observing them.
   3. The only way to grow and increase your skill is to work at it. This holds true in every domain of life.
   4. You don’t want to be in the same place five years from now as you are today.
2. Diligently apply yourself to righty handling the Scriptures.
   1. Be zealous to be approved in your handle on God’s Word, with no need to be ashamed (2 Tim 2:15).
   2. Practically you must know your way around the Bible.
      1. Have tools to access the Scriptures (e.g., a concordance) but don’t rely exclusively on them.
      2. Memorize texts.
      3. Know key passages that clearly address heart issues. (Find the passages that are most useful and penetrating to your heart, and work through them.)
      4. Disciple your own heart and mind.
      5. Disciple those in your own home.
3. Diligently practice and hone the skill of listening.
   1. Premise: People’s words reveal much about who they are and how they think: man’s “mouth speaks from that which fills his heart” (Luke 6:45).
   2. Practice: You must listen carefully and then categorize and examine what they say: “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him” (Prov 18:13).
      1. Listen to people.
         1. Identify the problem/difficulty. (Have they identified it?)
         2. Identify why it’s a problem. (Have they identified why?)
         3. Look for any solutions others have told them to pursue. (Have they attempted those solutions [whether successful or not]?) This will reveal much about how they think.
            • Jot down notes to help organize the information they give you.
            • Don’t miss important clues that reveal their heart/mind.
            • Your goal is to systematize what they think and why; this will help you prioritize and focus on the most important issues.
            • Major on the majors; don’t nit-pick secondary or minor things.
            • Be patient; find out what they mean by what they say.
      2. Shepherd them, don’t just share information with them. Don’t jump on every issue, but rather understand that God is the one sanctifying them and deal with the primary issue at hand. This requires patience and humility.
4. Diligently speak (and live) with boldness as an ambassador of Christ.
   1. Speak as one who is filled with the fear of God; don’t be constrained by the fear of man.
      1. Seeking the Lord’s glory is what must propel you to speak (2 Cor 5:11).
      2. God is making His appeal through you, so speak fearlessly (2 Cor 5:20). Churches fail to do church discipline out of an absence of the fear of God and a presence of the fear of man.
   2. Speak in such a way that no one can disregard you (Titus 2:15).
   • “‘Let no one disregard you’—what he means is, speak with such authority, power, and persuasive pleading that for your part you’re not letting them disregard the truth. You’ve confronted them at every level they can be confronted. You’ve pointed out every way that their current path is destructive. You’ve pointed out every way that Christ can change their life, could restore their heart, can bless them and encourage them. You have exhausted your persuasive instrumentation.”
   3. Live a life that cannot be condemned and one which appeals to people’s conscience.
      1. Be marked by good works and speech that are known to God and known to people’s conscience (2 Cor 5:11).
      2. Be a model of good works and sound speech that cannot be condemned (Titus 2:7–8).
5. Diligently guard your mind to keep the focus on Christ primary. While Christian virtue is important, uphold the character of Christ by connecting all their problems to a wrong view of Christ.
6. Diligently take the person’s problems back to the gospel. Examine what their problem looks like in light of the gospel.

“If your discipling of someone does not traverse the cross, the grace of the cross, the person of Christ regularly, you’re not helping. If you’re dabbling in little self-help ditties on the surface, you’re not helping. Practical changes in someone’s life are the last change that should happen. Inner life change is the first. Anyone can feel euphoria by ‘rearranging the furniture.’ All you did was rearrange the furniture and clean out the closet. That doesn’t help, especially when the plumbing is leaking into the walls and the structure is unsound.”